She's always been there. She's paid the mortgage, attended my basketball and football games, brought home the most money and found time to make sure my sister and I have done well in school and paid attention during church service. She's been the world's best mother, wife, sister and daughter for as long as she could do each role. My mom is a superwoman and I've always known this to be true, but I what I didn't know is that black women all over the world share these experiences as superheroes. Black women have been the foundation of the black family since the beginning of time, and yet they do not get the credit, recognition or reciprocation that they deserve. As black men, we've got work to do, NOW.
A 2014 blog post from OkayCupid founder Christian Ruddler spoke about race and attraction. In this post, Rudder used data to show that black women are the least desired race among men looking to date online. I've been having a lot of conversations the past couple years regarding race, dating and identity and one thing that has become paramount for black women is the idea that they feel less desired by men overall, and most particularly by black men. To this point, they defend black men in the news, support them in the household and more and yet they feel black men do not return that loyalty.
I struggled with understanding this idea at first. I can say that I have never went out of my way to discriminate against black women, but when I think about some of my peers, I can not be as confident. I have been in spaces where other black men tear down black women and uplift other races. I allowed things to be said when I could have and should have spoken up. Now that I know better I am proactive in speaking up and uplifting black women. They understand our plight as best as they can and support us.
It's time we support them. As black men, we have black mothers, sisters and aunties. Black women are the electricity of the family. It' s on us to support them the way that they support us. Instead of putting down a darker hue of a woman, uplift her melanin. Instead of blasting her for her loud value, applaud her passion. Instead of having distaste for her curls, embrace her natural beauty.
When all is said and done we are all that we have. Men and women were put on this earth to co-exist and support one another and make each other better. As black men, we have been falling short, but we can't go back and change this. We can move forward and be better today than we were yesterday.
lives by one word: achievement. in anything and everything, achieve.